The End of the Year

The year is ending, and it doesn’t really feel finished.

Some things moved forward. Some didn’t. A few questions are still hanging around, the same ones that showed up earlier in the year and never quite left.

I’ve always liked houses that are clean but lived in. Not staged. Not perfect. You can tell someone actually lives there. Things are mostly in order, but nothing feels frozen in place.

That’s what this year feels like to me.

There’s a lot of pressure right now, to explain the year. To sum it up. To make it sound intentional or meaningful in some neat way. I don’t think it works like that. Some years don’t wrap up cleanly. They just get quieter.

Faith hasn’t given me a conclusion to point to. What it’s given me is enough steadiness to stay put, without having to explain everything or make it look better than it was.

I don’t feel finished with this year. I just feel ready to stop fussing with it.

And maybe that’s what makes room for what comes next. Not answers. Not resolutions. Just enough space to step forward, without having to rush.

Like a house that’s clean enough to breathe in, yet lived in enough to feel real.

“He does everything just right and on time, but people can never completely understand what he is doing.”

— Ecclesiastes 3:11 (MSG)

David Massey