1 PETER 3
Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;
2 While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear.
3 Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel;
4 But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.
5 For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands:
6 Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.
When you say nothing at all!
China is a female dominated society, the woman is the one who rules the home, the man brings the money in, gives it to the wife, the wife makes all the decisions about which school or tutor centers the children should go to.
Christian marriage and parenting is counter cultural, the man is the head of the house and the woman is in submission to the husband, but how does this work, when in China, most of the believers are woman and the husbands are not saved.
I have met and seen many marriages in China, where the wife is a believer and has tried to literally beat their husband into trusting Christ, this leads to serious problems in the marriage, to the disappointment for the wife and resentment for the husband, instead of bringing him nearer to the Lord, it drives him further away.
I once heard a story of a Christian in the UK, she had an unbelieving husband, she talked and talked to him about the gospel, she went to bible study, church and every other meeting, she asked her pastor, what she should do.
The wise pastor said” Don’t mention anything Christian for three months, just live as a Christian in front of him, don’t complain and just pray for him, follow these instructions in 1 Peter 3″
She did, after three months, he said one day, are you going to church tonight, mind if I come to. Another two months later, he came to the Lord, asked why, he said, my wife had a changed life, I wanted to know why.
So how can you win your husbands?
By your chaste or wholesome conversation, do you complain about every little thing, your husband does wrong, then stop.
Do you put him down or do you build him up with your words?
You don’t win your husband, by going down the beauty parlor and having your nails done and getting the shortest dress or nightdress, change in marriages, don’t happen in the bedroom, they happen in the prayer closet, when the believing wife, gets close with God.
It means you spend lots of time praying and less time talking, develop a quiet and gentle spirit, you are to get close to God by spending time on your own with God and that doesn’t mean, you are constantly at church, this may mean, you take time with your husband to cook his favorite dinner or take him out to his favorite restaurant.
Being quiet before him, if you have an argument, submit, say I was wrong, you will be surprised, how much that shakes him.
It will be difficult, but these principles are life transforming, Sarah must have found it difficult to submit to Abraham, but she did it.
In Chapter 2 :20-23, we have the example of Jesus, he is our great example, we need to follow him.
May all women follow the principles laid out here and win their husbands to Christ, without saying a word.
A Christian lady in China, had an unsaved husband, he openly mocked his wife, but she submitted to hi, it took a few years, but in time, the husband came to Christ and is now taking a course in theology. So if we follow the biblical instructions, God will help us. If you as a Christian wife, refuse to submit and keep on the same way, then you will eat your bitter fruit.
The reformation study bible says this:
without a word. In ancient Roman culture the wife was expected to adopt the religion of her husband, and some of the Christian women in the Asian churches apparently had unbelieving spouses. Peter urges these Christian wives not to rely on argument, which might be seen as insubordination by the already suspicious husbands. Rather, the wives’ gentle responsiveness will recommend the gospel to their unbelieving spouses. The enduring principle involved in this statement is not silence (v. 15), but a sensitivity to the concerns of the unbelieving husband so that the gospel may be presented in the best light.
Matthew henry has the final word:
More especially, the finest ornament of Christian women is a meek and quiet spirit, a tractable easy temper of mind, void of passion, pride, and immoderate anger, discovering itself in a quiet obliging behaviour towards their husbands and families. If the husband be harsh, and averse to religion (which was the case of these good wives to whom the apostle gives this direction), there is no way so likely to win him as a prudent meek behaviour. At least, a quiet spirit will make a good woman easy to herself, which, being visible to others, becomes an amiable ornament to a person in the eyes of the world. Thirdly, The excellency of it. Meekness and calmness of spirit are, in the sight of God, of great price—amiable in the sight of men, and precious in the sight of God. Learn, 1. A true Christian’s chief care lies in the right ordering and commanding of his own spirit. Where the hypocrite’s work ends, there the true Christian’s work begins. 2. The endowments of the inner man are the chief ornaments of a Christian; but especially a composed, calm, and quiet spirit, renders either man or woman beautiful and lovely.
A chaste conversation, attended with due and proper respect to every one, is an excellent means to win them to the faith of the gospel and obedience to the word.
GOD BLESS YOU
KK