But God… A Story of Amazing Grace
My wilderness years were between 1986 and 2001. Yes, I did go to church on occasion—not the best one, to be honest. I picked up my Bible sometimes and prayed, but not with the same love and fervour I once had.
Something was happening, and the Holy Spirit was speaking. At this time, I was back home with my mum after living away for a long period. I had put all my effort into doing things my way.
I had a computer, and through it I came into contact with a Christian who challenged me to repent and return to God. My response was that although God would forgive, He would never trust me again and would never forget my sin.
I remember one day being in my bedroom when I broke down in tears. The Lord restored me. He is truly the God of the second chance, and I was a prodigal who had come home.
I found a church and settled there, but my computer became my enemy. I was drawn away by my own lusts and the devil, and I formed a friendship with a so-called female “pastor” in the USA. Being very foolish, I moved there in 2004 and got married, losing not only my testimony but also my mother, the respect of my family, and nearly my life. The three years spent in America were a sobering experience. I blame no one but myself, but again God was gracious and merciful, giving me mercy and grace I did not deserve.
Thankfully, I was able to spend three months with my brother in Canada, taking time to restore my relationship with him and, most importantly, with the Lord. I then returned to the UK and went back to my old church. They looked shocked when I arrived, and I heard many say, “I told you so.”
Over the next four years, the Lord restored me. I thought that was the end of my story, but God had another surprise for me. I believed I would never move again. Relationships took a back seat, and after another painful disappointment I said to the Lord, “No relationships and no internet relationships ever again, Lord.”
The summer of 2011 was a time of deep fellowship between me and the Lord. I spent many hours in prayer. Fellowship with Him was sweet, and I also had a website that was receiving visits from all over the world, including Nanjing, China. China… that was amazing, but I did not think much of it at the time.
I had an old email account, so I decided to move to Gmail and informed a few contacts on Hotmail that I was changing addresses, never expecting a reply.
But I did receive one—from a lady in China. She did not know whether I was a brother or sister in the Lord, or even a strange person. I assumed she was simply someone who had visited the website and thought, “That’s interesting—she wants to be friends. Wow, a Chinese friend!”
During the summer of 2011, something began to develop. I did not hear from my friend for a few weeks, but then she asked to Skype. I thought, “Okay… we can see what each other looks like, and that will probably end this.”
Instead, we found ourselves chatting every day. Something was happening. I remember thinking, “No, Lord… are You serious?”
We all know how the story ended.
As autumn came, things moved quickly. Our friendship deepened, and on 1 October the Lord spoke clearly to Helen that I was to be her husband. The following Tuesday, He spoke to me that she was to be my wife. I remember it clearly—it was early morning, and His word was direct and unmistakable.
At that time, I had just moved into my caravan and was settled. I wondered what my family would think. My niece reacted strongly, and my brother did not speak to me for two weeks. Everything became increasingly clear, and as we both prayed and sought the Lord, He confirmed it further. Obstacles were removed.
I bought a ticket to China on 29 February 2012. I travelled in June, lost my luggage (though thankfully I had tag and tracking, and it was found), and I was the last person off the plane. Helen must have thought I was not coming—but we met, and everything changed forever.
We became engaged in China, and I returned to the UK after a month. My static caravan had to be sold, along with my furniture, which the Lord graciously provided for.
Now I live in China. Life here is not easy, and the language remains a mystery to me. But I am thankful for my two wonderful girls—my dear wife and our precious daughter.
But God is my story.
I was dead—not just sick, but spiritually dead. I had no hope. Spiritually, we are not merely weak—we are dead in rebellion against God and His ways, lost to His grace and truth, and under His judgment.
I could do nothing to save myself. That is true for all of us. We are spiritually dead, and it takes God to intervene and bring spiritual life.
Someone once said it is all about grace—amazing grace:
G – God’s
R – Riches
A – At
C – Christ’s
E – Expense
I have been saved by God’s grace. It is all about His amazing grace. God intervened in my life. But God… because of this, I have been redeemed.
I have nothing to offer God except my sin. What He offered me was His love, mercy, and grace—all completely undeserved.
I pray that what I have shared will be used by God to open someone’s eyes to the Saviour I love and treasure, and to His finished work on the cross. Because of this, I can sing:
Amazing Grace
1
Amazing grace, how sweet the sound
that saved a wretch like me!
I once was lost, but now am found,
was blind, but now I see.
2
’Twas grace that taught my heart to fear,
and grace my fears relieved;
how precious did that grace appear
the hour I first believed!
3
Through many dangers, toils, and snares
I have already come;
’tis grace has brought me safe thus far,
and grace will lead me home.
4
The Lord has promised good to me;
His Word my hope secures;
He will my shield and portion be
as long as life endures.
5
Yes, when this flesh and heart shall fail,
and mortal life shall cease,
I shall possess, within the veil,
a life of joy and peace.