CHAPTER 17

EPHESIANS 5:25–28

25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,

27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.

28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.

ONE WEDDING AND A WHITE SUIT

Arriving back in China in early October, we had to organise the wedding. Lots of friends helped us. People from Helen’s church took care of the photos and video. My friend from Chinese class, Adam, who was already in China, came and served as my best man.

Another church leader acted as host, and Pastor Ji Tai married us.

In China, you can get legally married very quickly. As the country is not Christian, a marriage certificate can be obtained in just a few minutes. However, many couples still want a wedding ceremony, which usually takes place in a large hotel.

Helen and I, along with our friend Samuel, organised the wedding. We had photos taken at a photography studio and ordered a cake from a local bakery. We managed to transport it to the venue, but not before half of it had collapsed!

Helen had a beautiful wedding dress and looked stunning. She spent a long time getting ready, while I took about thirty seconds—although I did have my hair dyed, and it turned orange!

Samuel decided to wear a white suit. He looked very smart. I expected everyone to come dressed formally, but most people arrived in fairly casual clothes.

We said our vows and then I was invited to speak. Helen’s father spoke, as did Adam (in fluent Chinese) and Pastor Ji Tai.

We had our own little choir made up of church members and friends who sang some of our favourite songs.

There were twelve tables, and everyone enjoyed a good meal—except us. We had to go around and toast everyone twice, so we ended up with almost nothing to eat.

At Chinese weddings, instead of giving gifts, people usually give red envelopes filled with money. The usual amount is 500–1,000 yuan (around £50–£100 at the time).

Our wedding took place on 28 October 2012. This year we celebrate our 14th anniversary. Despite many obstacles and challenges, we are still happy together, and I thank God for the gift of my wife.

DEVOTIONAL THOUGHT

Things are very different at Chinese weddings. We will have a full update on our daughter’s wedding later in this book.

Marrying Helen was probably the second-best decision I have ever made, after trusting Christ as my Saviour.

Marriage has not always been easy for either of us. Remember that marriage is between two sinners. Christian marriage can be especially challenging because the devil hates it and does all he can to disrupt it.

The difference in a Christian marriage is that the Lord is right in the middle of it. He is the guiding and controlling influence.

What helps more than anything else? Praying together. We have found that praying together strengthens our marriage greatly. It helps us focus on the same things and seek God’s direction together.

When we do not pray together, we tend to have more problems.

Recently, we have spent time sharing the gospel together. Doing things together is one of the best ways to strengthen a marriage. We make dumplings together, travel together, and have recently visited Vietnam together.

So pray together, serve together, and do life together. These are some of the keys to a happy marriage.

CHAPTER 18

A PIGEON, A KING, AND MICHAEL JACKSON

Proverbs 22:6

“Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.”

By now, I was living in Nanjing, but what was I going to do? I had not yet mastered the language, so it was suggested that I help Chinese students improve their English.

Our friend Chen said she knew some teenagers who wanted to learn English, so one Saturday morning I went to her house, accompanied by Samuel for moral support.

We met eight teenagers. To break the ice, I suggested they introduce themselves using their English names.

The girls went first. We started with Catherine, then Celia—both perfectly normal English names.

Then came Pigeon.

Who calls themselves Pigeon?

“Okay,” I thought, “who’s next?”

“Michael.”

Good.

The boy sitting next to him introduced himself as “Jackson.”

So there I was, with Michael Jackson in the room—and he could actually moonwalk!

The final boy introduced himself as “King.”

Yes, that’s right. My first English class in China included a pigeon, a king, and Michael Jackson!

I remember asking the students to describe how they travelled to class. Jonah said he arrived on a motorised elephant. I actually thought he might have come by whale power!

I gradually started gaining students. There was an Australian-Chinese couple living in our apartment complex, and they had two sons. The boys told their Chinese mother, “We saw an Englishman in our complex.” She did not believe them until we bumped into each other a few days later.

Over the years, I taught many students. I remember with great fondness Fiona, Seven, Andy, Rain, and many others, all of whom are now in their twenties. When I first arrived, Helen was always bumping into former students. Now I find myself doing the same.

At one point, I had around thirty students and taught four or five classes every weekend. I have since reduced my workload, but I remain thankful to the students and parents who allowed me to teach them.

I cannot speak highly enough of my time with students such as Sophia, Anthea, Kevin, Rose (both of them), Adam (whom I taught for six years), Jack, and Jerry, to name just a few.

I am gradually slowing down and reducing the number of classes I teach, but I will continue as long as God brings students my way. My current students include little Rui, Bowen, Joy, Jerry, and Mary.

I charge a modest fee. I could charge more, but my goal is to help Chinese children learn English.

I thank God for all His blessings and for allowing me to touch so many lives.

DEVOTIONAL THOUGHT

God certainly has a sense of humour.

You may remember that Keith was a terrible student. He drove his teachers absolutely crazy.

Can you imagine what some of those teachers would think if they knew that Keith became a teacher?

“Keith, a teacher? You’ve got to be kidding!”

I sometimes joke that I hope he gets back what he gave—ha-ha!

Whenever I have a badly behaved student who refuses to listen, I remind myself that I was exactly the same many years ago.

Being able to help Chinese children learn English is a great honour and privilege, but it is nothing compared to teaching them the precious Word of God.

Parents, it is your responsibility to teach your children. The buck stops with you. It is not primarily the church’s responsibility.

If you do not teach them the Bible, the world will mould them into its own image. The education system will fill their minds with atheism, humanism, and worldly philosophies.

The place where all these “isms” can and should be challenged is the home.

You cannot be an absentee parent, constantly pursuing more money or another promotion while leaving your family to cope without your presence and leadership.

Many families in China are led primarily by the mother. While mothers play a vital role, God’s design is for the husband to provide spiritual leadership within the home.

Men, are you leading your family?

• By setting a godly example?
• By leading family devotions and prayer?
• By providing spiritual protection through prayer and sacrifice?

Men, life is not all about money.

The next generation must be taught the Scriptures. We must pass on the truths of God’s Word to our children and grandchildren.

If we do not fill their hearts and minds with biblical truth, someone else will fill them with something else.