THE CLOSED DOOR
Acts 16:6
“Now when they had gone throughout Phrygia and the region of Galatia, and were forbidden of the Holy Spirit to preach the word in Asia.”
In early 1997, I returned home to Morecambe. My mum was glad to see me back home. I was able to take her shopping and spend time with her, and she was able to look after me.
The only thing missing was work. Morecambe was not exactly a magnet for employment. It was a quiet seaside town, and the main employers were the university, the local colleges, and the two nuclear power stations — now four.
The job hunt continued through the local job club. I did get a couple of short-term contracts, but nothing permanent.
Life was good in many ways. Mum and I got on very well together. She was heavily involved in her local Church of England congregation. I occasionally attended with her, but there was still no real spiritual response from me.
In the year 2000, I organised a special meal to celebrate Mum’s 80th birthday. The grandchildren attended, and my brother and his family in Canada were able to see her through Skype.
Three days after that meal, my niece Victoria — who was always struggling financially — was returning home with her boyfriend at the time. He spent one pound on a lucky dip lottery ticket. Later that night, at around 11:30 pm, I received a hysterical phone call from Victoria screaming, “I’ve won the lottery!” Well, she hadn’t — but her boyfriend had. He gave her a little money, although sadly the relationship ended soon afterwards.
My brother Peter and I were very close. Sadly, my eldest brother and I became estranged and no longer have contact with one another.
After I returned to Morecambe, Peter wanted Mum and me to move to Canada, so we began the immigration process. We completed all the forms and medical checks. The final step was the interview at the Canadian Embassy in London in early January 2000.
We travelled down to London and attended the interview. Mum passed, but I was refused. I urged Mum to go without me, but she said we came as a package, so in the end we did not go.
To say we were disappointed would be an understatement.
Life continued, but Mum’s health slowly began to decline. She was now over 80 years old and started forgetting things. Gradually, it became clear that Alzheimer’s disease was taking hold.
The Lord was speaking to me.
In November 2001, I was alone in my room while Mum was in the kitchen. Suddenly, I broke down in tears. I fell to my knees crying out to God in repentance.
Part of my change began when I started looking for a girlfriend. I met a Christian girl who lived nearby, and we spoke both online and in person. I remember saying to her:
“Even if God forgives me, He will never trust me again to serve Him. He will hold my faults against me.”
How wrong I was.
Mum was happy when I started attending church again, even though it was not her church.
I began attending Heysham Free Methodist Church. I joined the fellowship, became involved in many ministries, and even started writing devotional thoughts. I also became involved in website ministry, but sadly that eventually led to my downfall.
More about that in the next chapter.
Devotional Thought
For many years I wondered why God closed the door to Canada. Now I understand why.
If He had opened that door, I almost certainly would never have come to China, met Helen, or experienced all the amazing things we have done together.
So often God closes a door, yet we keep banging on it, trying to force it open. We need to remember that when God closes a door, it remains firmly shut unless He Himself chooses to open it again.
Sometimes we resent those closed doors.
For years I resented that closed door to Canada. I questioned God and complained:
“Why have You said no? They are letting thousands of people in from other countries — why not me?”
Those thoughts only created resentment and anger, and I became trapped in that cycle.
God sees the complete picture. We only see from ground level, but He sees everything from His heavenly perspective. His plan for our lives is perfect, pure, and complete.
One verse that immediately comes to mind is:
Romans 8:28
“And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.”
Other verses to consider:
- Jeremiah 29:11–13
- Psalm 37:1–4
- Proverbs 3:5–6