Ezekiel 36:31
“Then shall ye remember your own evil ways, and your doings that were not good, and shall loathe yourselves in your own sight for your iniquities and for your abominations.”
College, Church and Cars
After becoming a Christian, I joined Andrew’s church and youth group.
My faith began to grow, and in 1980 — shortly after my 21st birthday — I was baptised by immersion as a public testimony of my commitment to Christ.
During this time, I had a wonderful pastor, David Green, who spent many hours counselling me, along with my dear friend Kevin.
Just before I came to China, I was able to phone Pastor David to apologise and tell him I was walking with the Lord. As always, he responded with grace.
Kevin passed away from cancer in 2024. While in the UK, I was able to speak with him. I will always be grateful for his friendship.
Just before my 21st birthday, I also lost my father. He died in front of me, quietly slipping away after losing his will to live.
This was a huge blow to my mother, who blamed herself. He had only been retired six months and never had the chance to enjoy it.
After school, I attended college to complete my GCE O Levels, and later studied accounting in Preston. I hoped this would lead to office work, but due to my stammer, employers felt I would struggle — especially on the telephone.
So in late 1979, I took a job as a storeman at a local mental hospital. I intended it to be temporary, but it lasted ten years.
It was not the happiest period of my life. I lived at home, worked full-time, and remained active in church — yet I was still a rebel in many ways.
The work was physical and demanding. The store contained everything from food to furniture. Fifty-kilogram bags of rice, sugar, and flour had to be unloaded daily. It was not work for the faint-hearted.
I later moved into the medical stores, which was the best position available. However, the stores closed in 1989 when all supplies were centralised 40 miles away.
Although the job was not particularly fulfilling, I paid into the National Health pension scheme. Today I receive that pension in China. God knew exactly what I would need in the future.
As a Christian, I was in the church — but still with one foot in the world.
During this time, I also bought my first car: a small lime-green Mini, nicknamed “The Lime Green Terror.” I loved that car and had it for nearly eight years. It brought a lot of joy — though not so much when driving down the aptly named Cemetery Road in Bradford, dodging potholes like an obstacle course.
By the mid-1980s, my faith began to decline. I left church membership. That was my own decision, and no one else was to blame. I chose my own path, and the consequences were serious. The scars remain.
Have I been forgiven by God?
Yes — completely.
But the regret for those wasted years still remains.
DEVOTIONAL THOUGHT
I say this with honesty and shame: I wasted significant portions of my life. I am not proud of it. I share it so that others may avoid the same mistakes.
Time is the one thing you can never replace. Everything else can be regained — but not time.
Those years are gone forever. In my case, they were lost through sinful and foolish choices.
The years between 25 and 40 — often some of the most productive years of life — were largely wasted on things that did not matter.
There is always a cost to sin and disobedience. God restores and heals, as He did with David, but consequences and scars often remain.
So do not waste your life on things that do not satisfy. Do not allow bitterness, anger, or selfishness to take control.
I am a prodigal — but, thank God, the prodigal returned and was restored.
Praise God for His forgiveness, mercy, and grace.
If you have made wrong choices and drifted far from God, there is restoration and healing at the foot of the cross.
Returning to God took many years. In between, I went to places I should not have gone and saw things I should not have seen.
Yet the Lord is patient and slow to anger. Psalm 103 reminds us:
The Lord is merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and full of compassion…
He has not dealt with us according to our sins…
As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us…
Come and receive that healing.